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Book - Product Information
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
John M. Gottman, Nan Silver
Rating: 5.0/5 Stars
Rank: 173
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is
communication, communication, communication.
Phooey, says John Gottman,
Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.
There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than
sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples
therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying
hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for
him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually
divorce.
He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled
relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his
sessions with married couples.
(One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who
didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at
work.) Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them
that affairs are at the root of most splits).
He also reveals surprising
facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming
matches.
And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and
Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN.
When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup
and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage
have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While
this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the
love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with
their relationship and they love each other deeply." Through a series
of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he
uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with
differences and strengthening your marriage.
His profiles of troubled
couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the
out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate
their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
--This text refers to the
Hardcover edition.
About the AuthorJOHN M. GOTTMAN, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at the University of
Washington and cofounder and codirector of the Seattle Marital and Family
Institute.
Editorials
Sample 3 of 7
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
John M. Gottman, Nan Silver
![]() | | | Review | | "An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and
long-lasting --
marriage." --
Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional
Intelligence"Gottman stays... read full editorial |
![]() | | | Review | | "An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and
long-lasting --
marriage." -- Daniel
Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence"Gottman stays
refreshingly down... read full editorial |
![]() | | | From the Back Cover | | "An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent--and
long-lasting--marriage." Daniel
Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence"Gottman stays
refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and
Venus." ... read full editorial |
Customer Reviews
Sample 3 of 34
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
John M. Gottman, Nan Silver
![]() | | | Good on a Practical Level | | (Florida) June 16, 2005 - 5.0/5 stars | | I thought this book was good on a practical level for marriage, especially
dealing with how couples fight and otherwise get along in marriage.
If you are interested in this book, probably the best advice I
could give... read full review |
![]() | | | A Real Guide to What Works in Relationships for Real People | | (Nutley, NJ) August 8, 2004 - 5.0/5 stars | | I really appreciated the consistency and clarity this book offers
couples
who are interested in having relationships that are
successful and
satisfying. The fact that Gottman has spent years
researching the
principles that... read full review |
![]() | | | Very good marriage advice | | (Nutley, NJ) August 9, 2004 - 4.0/5 stars | | This is one of my favorite books on marriage! I treally gives you great
perspective on your own relationship and ideas about how to keep it
together. If you want to take your relationship one more step beyond just
trying... read full review |
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